Color Me Mine

I don't do ceramics. I don't do painting. I don't do crafts. Sure, I had to take art in elementary school but my masterpieces always turned out to be crap (thank goodness for a mother with low fine arts standards and the ability to fake delight). I was the kid who learned how to do one good stick figure well, and used that on all my mediums.  I was also the kid who painted one page of a coloring book and threw the book in a closet -- never to be seen again.

All things crafty fall into the category of Steph not having patience for anything longer than 10 minutes. "Yeah, alright. I get it."

As would be the case, I have often driven by the "Color Me Mine" wondering what in the world would prompt someone to say, "Gosh, gee golly, I really feel the need to paint a coffee mug right now."

So naturally, I check it out.

I walk in and there are two types of people here -- families painting together (even a weird-o Dad getting all into his ceramic picture frame) and middle-aged women who are there to seriously create beautiful 'pieces' for their homes. WTH? So, I am totally coming across as the creepy child molester who doesn't belong.

I try to laugh it off, and when welcomed by the Color Me Mine assistant, I immediately tell her I've never done this before. She tells me the first step is to pick a ceramic. Really? They're already made for you? Yes! Here I thought I would be painting my own lumpy pile of plaster.  She says to select something that "speaks to me" ... huh? How about ... something that speaks to my price point?

This shit was expensive! $10 for access to the painting studio and no lower than $30 per thing to paint. And all I can say is, there is a LOT to choose from. From Disney statues to doggie bowls -- hell, if you ever need a personalized cookie jar, this is the place to go.

I go for a penguin pencil holder -- a perfect gift for boyfriend Steve for Valentine's Day! (lol) -- and I'm on my way ...

 I pick my paints.

 Prepare my palette.

And get to work.

I would like to mention that unlike other artists at this craft-haven, I did not have an "inspiration piece" on my table. The weird lady behind me would not shut up about her damn inspriation piece -- ie ... a finished, painted ceramic that she was just totally copying. What a bunch of BS -- at least I was doing this freestyle.

While I paint I over hear a mom leaving with her kids talking about coming back for "Ladies Night" Ladies Night? What the hell is that? Oh yes, people, ladies night is when you bring two friends with you (after 6 PM), and paints only cost three bucks. Plus! You can bring a bottle of wine to share!  

Oh. fantastic. This is just what we need. Stressed-out mommies getting wasted and playing with easily breakable objects. Um, think I'll pass. When I drink I don't want to have to be concentrating on something. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of drinking, anyway?

I am proud to say I painted that GD penguin for an hour! And got seriously dirty ...

Yuck.

I took the Color Me Mine assistant's advice and really layered up my paints. One layer was not going to cut it -- I was told the key to success was coating. So I did, over and over again until I was like, "Alright, this is getting old."

 

When I was done, I was actually kind of proud.  Sure my black paints ran into my orange and sure that attempted heart in the middle looked like a smooched thumbprint -- but I did it. I actually painted the whole thing!

I pay my $40 plus tax (really?! for a pencil holder?), and take my ticket. I am told to return in a few days to pick up my kiln-fired creation!

Super excited to pick up Steve's Valentine's Day present, I rush back to Color Me Mine after work, and get ready for the big reveal ...

Steve skeptical. I can't blame him.

 "A pencil holder?? Wow."

That's right, baby! Your very own, hand-painted pencil holder! And yes, those are squiggly lines you see all over it. I tried the best I could, dammit.

Cute.

Okay, so after my Color me Mine experience, I do have to say -- I would never go back by myself, but I would invest in this retail chain. Whoever thought of this idea is a freakin' genius. There is clearly a need for birthday places, family destinations and crazy crafty old lady hang-outs. For someone who can actually paint -- I bet it would be enjoyable.

If I had kids, I would take them here to paint a Christmas ornament. Because knowing the genes my kids will inherit, there's no way I want them painting anything that needs to be displayed year-round.