KFC's Double Down Chicken 'Sandwich'

I went to a KFC. I ordered the new "Double Down."

This is what KFC says it looks like.

This is what it really looks like -- oozing cheese and a secret beige-colored sauce.

Ooooo. Looks sooo yummy. Lick. Lick.

Upon further examination: the inside top portion.

Please note: the dangly blanket of processed cheese (flavor: unknown).

The back-end.

Contemplating my arteries and future bypass surgery.

(Hoping my aerobics instructor doesn't see this)

Eeek.

Ack.

The bite. Crunch. Crunch. Ooze.

It made a noise.

Okay.
I'm doing this -- channeling my Gail Simmons, a la "Top Chef" and examining the flavor profile. 

Hmmmmm. Having trouble getting over the noise elements.

Ehhhhh. Enjoying the special sauce.

Slimy.

Surprisingly scrumptious. I mean, what's not to like about fat and more fat and even more fat,  plus salt. I dunno why people had such a problem with this thing? Who needs the bread, anyway?! 

15 minutes later -- "Double Down." More like, doubled over.

Zing.