Craft My Halloween Costume

What could possibly go wrong??? ... Ehhhh...

Can anyone guess what this mess could possibly be???

Crash a Hotel Pool

I had the day off. I don't have a pool in my apartment building. I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Yes, that's right. I walked into a hotel I had no business being at, acted like I belonged, and went right up to the rooftop pool. Unlike Vegas, there were no guards at the door. So, I entered the pool, grabbed a lounge char, towel and made myself at home.

Ordered a margarita.

Made friends with some flight attendants from Houston.

And relaxed.

Btw. I do have two feet. This picture is bizarre.

Be a Crazy World Cup Super Fan

I have been dragged to bars to watch football, hockey and even college basketball, but never soccer.  So Saturday afternoon's outing to my neighborhood bar for the USA vs. Ghana World Cup game was my first.

All I can say is, man, have I been missing out. This was a televised gaming experience like no other. Sure at normal football games there's cheering but these drunks took cheering to a whole new level. Not only did they cheer but ... they sang songs!  I had no idea! Sing-a-long songs! Made up ones and classics -- even awkward performances of "America The Beautiful." Drunks singing "America The Beautiful" = comic gold.

I enjoyed this crew, especially for the uber-generous free shots of Patron being passed around (no rail liquor here).

... and this is when we lost.
lol. jk.

This dude was my favorite. He liked to scream "American" -- followed by a cheer of "F*ck YEAH!"and then him singing along for another 15 minutes. I have been told it's from the movie "Team America." Watching this movie would have to be a whole other post.

My only regret about going to this World Cup game ... not wearing my red, white and blue bikini. (Thanks a lot, Steve.)

Get a Hair Cut at Supercuts

Okay, so it was only my bangs but seriously, having the guts to even walk in this place took me 3 months to stir up. You have to understand, I am a believer in spending money on hair -- good hair. And even stepping into Supercuts made me feel like I was hard-core cheating (like worse than Tiki Barber and Jesse James combined!) on my hairstylist. (Marianne, please forgive me). Eeek.

So, the review? Holy sh*t that was cheap! I gave Estelle an extra tip just because I felt like I was ripping her off. So, she didn't have the fancy scissors Marianne usually uses -- to sculpt and texturize ... but all in all, I survived. They did look different to me. Sure, no one noticed but .... maybe people were trying not to hurt my feelings?

KFC's Double Down Chicken 'Sandwich'

I went to a KFC. I ordered the new "Double Down."

This is what KFC says it looks like.

This is what it really looks like -- oozing cheese and a secret beige-colored sauce.

Ooooo. Looks sooo yummy. Lick. Lick.

Upon further examination: the inside top portion.

Please note: the dangly blanket of processed cheese (flavor: unknown).

The back-end.

Contemplating my arteries and future bypass surgery.

(Hoping my aerobics instructor doesn't see this)

Eeek.

Ack.

The bite. Crunch. Crunch. Ooze.

It made a noise.

Okay.
I'm doing this -- channeling my Gail Simmons, a la "Top Chef" and examining the flavor profile. 

Hmmmmm. Having trouble getting over the noise elements.

Ehhhhh. Enjoying the special sauce.

Slimy.

Surprisingly scrumptious. I mean, what's not to like about fat and more fat and even more fat,  plus salt. I dunno why people had such a problem with this thing? Who needs the bread, anyway?! 

15 minutes later -- "Double Down." More like, doubled over.

Zing.