Craft My Halloween Costume

What could possibly go wrong??? ... Ehhhh...

Can anyone guess what this mess could possibly be???

Crash a Hotel Pool

I had the day off. I don't have a pool in my apartment building. I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Yes, that's right. I walked into a hotel I had no business being at, acted like I belonged, and went right up to the rooftop pool. Unlike Vegas, there were no guards at the door. So, I entered the pool, grabbed a lounge char, towel and made myself at home.

Ordered a margarita.

Made friends with some flight attendants from Houston.

And relaxed.

Btw. I do have two feet. This picture is bizarre.

Be a Crazy World Cup Super Fan

I have been dragged to bars to watch football, hockey and even college basketball, but never soccer.  So Saturday afternoon's outing to my neighborhood bar for the USA vs. Ghana World Cup game was my first.

All I can say is, man, have I been missing out. This was a televised gaming experience like no other. Sure at normal football games there's cheering but these drunks took cheering to a whole new level. Not only did they cheer but ... they sang songs!  I had no idea! Sing-a-long songs! Made up ones and classics -- even awkward performances of "America The Beautiful." Drunks singing "America The Beautiful" = comic gold.

I enjoyed this crew, especially for the uber-generous free shots of Patron being passed around (no rail liquor here).

... and this is when we lost.
lol. jk.

This dude was my favorite. He liked to scream "American" -- followed by a cheer of "F*ck YEAH!"and then him singing along for another 15 minutes. I have been told it's from the movie "Team America." Watching this movie would have to be a whole other post.

My only regret about going to this World Cup game ... not wearing my red, white and blue bikini. (Thanks a lot, Steve.)

Get a Hair Cut at Supercuts

Okay, so it was only my bangs but seriously, having the guts to even walk in this place took me 3 months to stir up. You have to understand, I am a believer in spending money on hair -- good hair. And even stepping into Supercuts made me feel like I was hard-core cheating (like worse than Tiki Barber and Jesse James combined!) on my hairstylist. (Marianne, please forgive me). Eeek.

So, the review? Holy sh*t that was cheap! I gave Estelle an extra tip just because I felt like I was ripping her off. So, she didn't have the fancy scissors Marianne usually uses -- to sculpt and texturize ... but all in all, I survived. They did look different to me. Sure, no one noticed but .... maybe people were trying not to hurt my feelings?

KFC's Double Down Chicken 'Sandwich'

I went to a KFC. I ordered the new "Double Down."

This is what KFC says it looks like.

This is what it really looks like -- oozing cheese and a secret beige-colored sauce.

Ooooo. Looks sooo yummy. Lick. Lick.

Upon further examination: the inside top portion.

Please note: the dangly blanket of processed cheese (flavor: unknown).

The back-end.

Contemplating my arteries and future bypass surgery.

(Hoping my aerobics instructor doesn't see this)

Eeek.

Ack.

The bite. Crunch. Crunch. Ooze.

It made a noise.

Okay.
I'm doing this -- channeling my Gail Simmons, a la "Top Chef" and examining the flavor profile. 

Hmmmmm. Having trouble getting over the noise elements.

Ehhhhh. Enjoying the special sauce.

Slimy.

Surprisingly scrumptious. I mean, what's not to like about fat and more fat and even more fat,  plus salt. I dunno why people had such a problem with this thing? Who needs the bread, anyway?! 

15 minutes later -- "Double Down." More like, doubled over.

Zing.

Visit The Bunny Museum

Did you know there was a Bunny Museum? Me either. Well, not sure I would call it a 'museum,' but there is a residential home full of 26,000 things bunny-related in Pasadena, CA.

Once I arrived at the street location of The Bunny Museum, it was not hard to figure out which house it was.

I was immediately welcomed by a Bunny Lady, the owner of the museum/collection, who told me to leave my purse outside --  wouldn't want to steal bunnies! I was then asked if I would like the tour -- I said, uh, yeah. Otherwise, we would be just hanging out in your home, right?

 This was the bunny that started the whole collection (please take note of the glass case). A Valentine's Day bunny the Bunny Lady received for Valentines's Day. Then every Valentine's Day since she and her husband would exchange bunnies. Today, her and her husband exchange a bunny ... every. single. day! (I wonder if Peeps count?)

The Bunny Lady holds the world record for most bunnies under one roof.

There were a lot of bunnies.

Stuffed bunnies.

Snow globe bunnies.

Famous bunnies.

Dirty bunnies.

This is the Garden of Broken Dreams.

This was the backyard.

This used to be a bunny.
 

A horror movie or The Bunny Museum? 

Like I said, a lot of bunnies.

 

But oddly, only three real bunnies.
(I brought them bananas, thanks Mike Kelly.)

I was offered the opportunity to puchase a postcard, but I declined.

After saying my goodbyes, I was told to "Have a Hoppy Day."

Wear Pajama Jeans to Dinner

You know you wanted to try them -- well, I did!! My very own, extremely over-priced Pajama Jeans arrived yesterday (with free t-shirt) and I immediately threw them on for a test drive.

Pajama Jeans! Looks like the real thing, right? Riiiight? Okay, hell no.

Pajama Jeans at a Japanese restaurant!!!

The review: They may look semi-like jeans but the outside fabric feels gross (inside = snuggle bunny). I bought a size large, because I enjoy a comfy pant -- but that was not the right decision. The waist band is so large, I could barely keep my pants up on the walk to dinner. Many little Japanese ladies saw some thong thong thong thong.

Will I wear them again? Hell yeah! Welp, I am going to need a belt. But there's gotta be a way to rock these to Ralph's.

I mean, what could be better than going straight from dinner to bed? No clothing change required. And any opportunity to eat out wearing an elastic waistband (incognito, of course), is a go for me.

Roughing It at the Movie Theater

One of the hardest situations I've had to battle -- without Diet Coke. I did it. I ordered ... ugh ... water at the movie theater. WTH!? Yup. Popcorn and water.

Day 12, still Diet Coke free.

Appreciate Nature

Korean Karaoke

I don't understand karaoke. Why would anyone want to be subjected to horrible singers belting out songs when you can just stick an ice pick in your ear? For this reason, when my friends suggested we all go to Korea Town for karaoke, I gotta say ... was not thrilled.  I knew immediately this meant the day after would be one spent incredibly hung over -- really, the only way to survive karaoke night.

And for those of you who are not familiar with Korea Town karaoke -- this is the kind of karaoke where you rent a room and for 5 hours straight friends sing songs ... one after the next, no stopping. No place to go. No other random patrons, like in a bar, to be distracted by. Just singing. Lots and lots of very very loud singing, crazy strobe lights, flashing tambourines and insane Korean-produced videos, which accompany each song. It's like an epilepsy-victim's worst nightmare.

It's pretty insane. So, I went. I drank. I drank some more. And then ... the anti-Karaoke queen ... SANG!!!!! Okay, so, I did sing with my bf Steve, but I did get up there and do it and ... I am pissed that no one took a picture. So, I can't even prove it! But I did -- I sang Outkast's "Hey Ya" and Seal's "Kiss from a Rose." Two stellar picks, in my opinion.

Two highlights from the evening. #1) Mike singing "Bootilicious" and 2) A closing group perfmance of "We are the World." Upon leaving someone mentioned going back next month. No way. This is the kind of thing you can only handle once every 3 years.

And yes, the day after did include much-needed carbs and milkshakes.

Grocery Shopping Sans Diet Coke

See anything missing from this grocery shopping cart?
Hell yeah, you do.

Ugh. No. Diet. Coke.

You have no idea. Normally when at the check-out, I see my favorite treat ...

 ... an ice cold D.C. -- perfect for an instant check-out buzz. Instead, I just stared. Long. And hard.

Oh, the sweet nectar going down my throat. The flirty bubbles tickling my nose.  The rush of caffeine straight to my head.

I went home and drank a bottle of wine instead.

Go Metro

New York is known for its subway system but did you know Los Angeles has an underground transit system too? It's exists and I took it.

Not quite as busy as the New York subway.

Diet Coke Detox [DAY 2]

Happy to report -- I am still clean!

I am tired as all hell, but ... the Diet Coke in my blood stream has decreased (or at least I would hope so).

Today my stomach was killing me all day. So, my feeling is, it was either the cheese I ate for my mid-morning snack or my bowels not knowing what is going on. Sorry, that was gross. But really, the internal organs are screaming for help.

I was asked what I have replaced the caffeine in my life with -- I said nothing (although, thank you everyone for the green tea recommendations). Yup, no caffeine -- well, okay, I did have a chai tea from Coffee Bean today ... but I dunno, does that have caffeine?

Okay, I gotta go now ... my eye lids are barely able to stay open at this point.

Oh wait -- one more major occurrence of the day. At lunch I opened a bottle of flavored, carbonated water and it EXPLODED all over my desk and keyboard (don't tell the IT guy) and everything! WTH?! My precious Diet Coke would never have treated me that way.

Stop Drinking Diet Coke [Day 1]

I have survived day one of -- Stephanie's mission to give up Diet Coke for Lent. (Ugh. It pains me to even type the words 'Diet' and 'Coke')

It wasn't pretty today, people ... not. at. all.

At around 2 PM today, (when I would normally be on my third D.C. of the day) my leg was falling asleep and I was convinced -- absolutely convinced -- it was my lack of Diet Coke's fault!!

When I broke the news to my friend Rose today (I have been informing all loved ones, as if someone has passed away), she said one, "you are crazy" and two, "I'm sure giving up DC, will help build a stronger connection to god."

I'm afraid tomorrow will be worse -- as the withdrawl is really just setting in.

My head hurts. Where is my Advil bottle?

Give Up Something for Lent

Okay, so, I was raised Catholic but haven't been to church in a few years. I say God's name in vain a LOT and the only blood of Christ I've drank lately is straight from the chalice of St. Charles Shaw.

I am definitely not the type of person who would give up something for Lent, which is every reason why this blog is going to help make me extra holy this year!

That's right folks, I'm doing it ... I'm giving up something for Lent.  But ... not just any old thing. F the people who just give up fish on Friday. Weak! I figure if I'm going to do this -- I'm going all or none.

So with that said, I am scared as all hell to announce that, as of tomorrow, Feburary 16, 2010 I am giving up my ultimate vice ... Diet Coke.

Hello, my name is Stephanie and I'm addicted to Diet Coke. Yup, that's me. The liquid that stains your internal organs and guarantees my great grandchildren will have fingers on their earlobes,  is the same liquid I love love love. Forget a Diet Coke break, I bathe in D.C. My veins are flooded with it and my eye balls are red as all hell 24/7 because of it. Did I mention I'm a Diet Coke rewards member? Many a magazine subscription has been funded thanks to the good folks at Coke.

So here it goes, goodbye my love.

I will keep you up to date on my detox and all the people I piss off in the process.

PS -- By the way, I would like to apologize in advance to anyone I work with, including all friends and loved ones. Cranky will be present  over the next 40 days and 40 nights, and I have no idea how my body is going to react to this.  Get ready for the ride ...

Color Me Mine

I don't do ceramics. I don't do painting. I don't do crafts. Sure, I had to take art in elementary school but my masterpieces always turned out to be crap (thank goodness for a mother with low fine arts standards and the ability to fake delight). I was the kid who learned how to do one good stick figure well, and used that on all my mediums.  I was also the kid who painted one page of a coloring book and threw the book in a closet -- never to be seen again.

All things crafty fall into the category of Steph not having patience for anything longer than 10 minutes. "Yeah, alright. I get it."

As would be the case, I have often driven by the "Color Me Mine" wondering what in the world would prompt someone to say, "Gosh, gee golly, I really feel the need to paint a coffee mug right now."

So naturally, I check it out.

I walk in and there are two types of people here -- families painting together (even a weird-o Dad getting all into his ceramic picture frame) and middle-aged women who are there to seriously create beautiful 'pieces' for their homes. WTH? So, I am totally coming across as the creepy child molester who doesn't belong.

I try to laugh it off, and when welcomed by the Color Me Mine assistant, I immediately tell her I've never done this before. She tells me the first step is to pick a ceramic. Really? They're already made for you? Yes! Here I thought I would be painting my own lumpy pile of plaster.  She says to select something that "speaks to me" ... huh? How about ... something that speaks to my price point?

This shit was expensive! $10 for access to the painting studio and no lower than $30 per thing to paint. And all I can say is, there is a LOT to choose from. From Disney statues to doggie bowls -- hell, if you ever need a personalized cookie jar, this is the place to go.

I go for a penguin pencil holder -- a perfect gift for boyfriend Steve for Valentine's Day! (lol) -- and I'm on my way ...

 I pick my paints.

 Prepare my palette.

And get to work.

I would like to mention that unlike other artists at this craft-haven, I did not have an "inspiration piece" on my table. The weird lady behind me would not shut up about her damn inspriation piece -- ie ... a finished, painted ceramic that she was just totally copying. What a bunch of BS -- at least I was doing this freestyle.

While I paint I over hear a mom leaving with her kids talking about coming back for "Ladies Night" Ladies Night? What the hell is that? Oh yes, people, ladies night is when you bring two friends with you (after 6 PM), and paints only cost three bucks. Plus! You can bring a bottle of wine to share!  

Oh. fantastic. This is just what we need. Stressed-out mommies getting wasted and playing with easily breakable objects. Um, think I'll pass. When I drink I don't want to have to be concentrating on something. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of drinking, anyway?

I am proud to say I painted that GD penguin for an hour! And got seriously dirty ...

Yuck.

I took the Color Me Mine assistant's advice and really layered up my paints. One layer was not going to cut it -- I was told the key to success was coating. So I did, over and over again until I was like, "Alright, this is getting old."

 

When I was done, I was actually kind of proud.  Sure my black paints ran into my orange and sure that attempted heart in the middle looked like a smooched thumbprint -- but I did it. I actually painted the whole thing!

I pay my $40 plus tax (really?! for a pencil holder?), and take my ticket. I am told to return in a few days to pick up my kiln-fired creation!

Super excited to pick up Steve's Valentine's Day present, I rush back to Color Me Mine after work, and get ready for the big reveal ...

Steve skeptical. I can't blame him.

 "A pencil holder?? Wow."

That's right, baby! Your very own, hand-painted pencil holder! And yes, those are squiggly lines you see all over it. I tried the best I could, dammit.

Cute.

Okay, so after my Color me Mine experience, I do have to say -- I would never go back by myself, but I would invest in this retail chain. Whoever thought of this idea is a freakin' genius. There is clearly a need for birthday places, family destinations and crazy crafty old lady hang-outs. For someone who can actually paint -- I bet it would be enjoyable.

If I had kids, I would take them here to paint a Christmas ornament. Because knowing the genes my kids will inherit, there's no way I want them painting anything that needs to be displayed year-round.